Katniss's Perspective
Journal Entry 1
Today is the day before the Games start. I’m not that nervous to be honest. Just really worried about everything. I hope mother took my words seriously, and stop shutting herself from the world. Prim really needs her at a moment like this, since I’m not there. I know Prim can take care of herself but she still is only 12 years old. Gale would probably watch over them for me but..I wonder what he wanted to say to be before he was taken away. Is he proud with my training score? Or what did he think about Peeta’s confession? Does he care at all?.. I’m so confused with my emotions. Then there’s Peeta. I still don’t know what to think of him. I still feel like a owe him from that time with the bread, and I still owe him since he’s been helping me out a lot here. But I eventually have to kill him anyways, so I probably shouldn’t let my guard down. Or hoping someone else will kill him first so I don’t have to do it myself. But for now I guess I’ll just have to avoid him as much as possible. I need to start thinking about what I’m going to do in the arena. Haymitch sure doesn’t really help that much, plus he hates me. He’s probably just going to help Peeta since, he thinks I’m a lost cause. I hate how I have to pretend to be nice and try to get sponsers for the game when all they’re going to do is watch all of us try to kill one another on screen. My hatred for the Capitol has never been more strong. Sure, the capitol is in power and the districts tried to take over it. But you would think destroying district 13 completely wasn’t bad enough, now they gather 24 innocent kids each year into this arena to fight to the death, while the people in the Capitol watch. Well I’m determined to win the games, I’m not going down without a fight. I promised Prim that I’ll win, and I’ll try my hardest to keep that promise. For now I’ll just try not to think about what I’m going to do with Peeta, and just get a good night rests before the games.
Journal Entry 2
It was just announced that there’s a new change of rules in the games. Two tributes from the same district can win now instead of just one tribute. I did the stupidest thing, to call out Peeta’s name. Hopefully no one heard me, but I’m on a mission to go find Peeta now. I’m still an emotional wreck from Rue’s death, it’s a surprised that I could function right now. With Rue I just felt like I was close to Prim, and that’s the closest feeling to family that I felt since the Games have started. It was all my fault to give such a dangerous task for Rue to do. Now she’s dead, and it feels like it’s all my fault. Killing that boy was easy as killing an animal when I’m out hunting, which terrified me because I don’t want to turn into a killer. I now understand what Peeta meant on the rooftop about how he wants to die as himself. I don’t want the Capitol to turn me into some, crazy blood thirsty killing machine in the games. I still want to be Katniss, a girl who wants to win because there’s a 12 year old girl waiting for her in district 12. Now I don’t have to do it alone, I just have to find Peeta. Peeta...turns out all this time he was generally trying to help me throughout the games, and for this whole time I thought he just wanted to join up with the careers to win. I know now that I owe him big time for saving my life. Because of me he’s out there injured and might be already dead from what I heard from Cato. But I won’t give up, I will find Peeta and help him as much as possible. I’m determined to get us out of here. I guess I still have a chance of looking for him, since I haven’t seen his face in the sky yet. I wonder how he’s managing to stay alive. Haymitch must have sent him something since I’ve gotten the burn medicine and bread. I should probably go along with the star crossed lovers act if I want sponsers to help us out. There’s only a few of us left, so the gamekeepers definitely have something planned to make the games more interesting. Well I should go find where Peeta is now.
Journal Entry 3
The games are now over. But it seems like everything has gotten much more complicated now, and it’s all my fault. I just wanted for me and Peeta to finally get out of that arena and go back to district 12. Also to embarrass the gamekeepers by committing a double suicide with the berries but I guess I didn’t think of my consequences before I did it. Now I’m in a heap of trouble with the Capitol, and everyone who is close to me is in danger to. I somehow have to try and convince everyone that I only pulled that trick was because I was so in love with Peeta and didn’t know what else to do. I hope I showed that at the interview. Haymitch thinks I did a pretty good job, and well Peeta is naturally good at it even though he doesn’t know the problem I created. Sometimes I wonder if Peeta is acting or not.. But I guess that shouldn’t matter since he’s mad at me now. I feel terrible for coming out to Peeta like that on the train. It looks like he was really hurt. But I never really thought of him as that way. He kept me safe during the games, and there defiantly was something there when we were acting in love but then there’s Gale. I’m sure that if I allowed Gale to be in that kind of relationship with me, it would happen. But I don’t know what to think. For now it’s my job to convince everybody that I love Peeta Mellark, or else who knows what the Capitol would do to me or my family.